Elite fun!

This week was ridiculously exciting...for a couple reasons! 

On Thursday I was invited through work to a big event at Canada Running Series announcing an elite runner who just registered for the marathon. So naturally my wonderful sister let me skip her welcome home dinner for this once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm so grateful she did! 

At the event, they officially announced Lanni Merchant as having entered the marathon! Unbelievably exciting! And I got to meet her! She is so sweet and humble and kind...and quick. I was running with my boss and everyone else, and off they went, leaving me way behind...which normally I am ok with, who cares about being last, I'm still doing it...but in front of Lanni, you don't want to be last. Anyways, we did a 5k run (easy for everyone else, most definitely a tempo run for this girl) and got some awesome photos...check em out ya'll! 

This photo made it into the Canada Running Series newsletter! 

Night Race!

I did a race...and oh boy was it a treat! 

My friend came in from Guelph for the weekend for birthday celebrations and it was a blast but oh boy did it affect my race. 

The race was on Saturday night, which sounds like it would be fun. You have to wear a head lamp which pretty much just makes for awesome photos but makes you feel utterly ridiculous. 

As you can see...ridiculous, but it made for a great photo! 

The race was interesting...I'm discovering more about races and what I value in them and what I don't. I definitely value an interesting course because that was easily the most boring course I've ever done. I don't recommend it unless you are doing it with a friend. 

I was lucky enough to have my amazing cheering squad looking for "the skinny one in yellow"...I love them both. I loved the McDonald's we got at the end just as much. 

My time on this race was pretty amazing. The first 10k I ever did I was 8 seconds slower and it was entirely down hill. I did the night race in 1:04:12 and it was totally flat. This does tell me that I've likely increased my speed because downhill races are not an accurate telling of my real time! 

Alas, onto the next races! 

Also...check the photo bomb...we're so good

I am more than my body

Yesterday a man decided to pass a judgement about my body. I was waking home from the gym, minding my own business and this man thought that mumbling under his breathe that I should go to the gym and exercise, and proceed to call me a fat ass was such a great idea. Well I am here to tell you that it was not such a great idea. I don't know who this man is, I'm sure he has many an issue and I sincerely hope I never see him again. 

I am here to tell you that I am more than my body. I am more than a number associated with how my body looks. And I am most definitely not alive to impress you, or anyone for that matter. 

I wish I could say that what this man said went in one ear and out the other but I can't. It stung, it was hurtful, and while in the privacy of my own home I did cry...not for long thanks to the Gardiner fam...I am not going to hide that fact that words hurt. Words hurt a lot. You carry words people say to you everywhere and everyday. As an introvert it also takes me longer to process what people say and takes me even longer to let it go so words tend to stick like glue to me. 

I've always had a hard time wrapping my head around this movement where women go on about their bodies being their bodies. I understood it and where it was coming from, but I've never felt the things some women have, until yesterday. I get it entirely. 

My body is not here for you to judge. My body is mine. Your opinion of it doesn't matter. My body is healthy. The food I put in it fuels my active life style. I make no regrets for the food I put in my body. I run for myself, because I feel accomplished and strong when I do it. I lift weights to build muscle to make myself better. I do these things for me and no one else. I run to maintain my sanity in this ever increasingly insane world. The feminist in me has had enough of men judging my body because they don't feel it's good enough. My body is better than good enough- it is perfect. And it belongs to me. 

One of the reasons I love the running community is that everyone is so supportive of one another. The elites have been in the beginners shoes, they've been in the injured runners shoes, they've been at races with no one and with hundreds of supporters, they've been in the same pain and had the same aches. I have never heard a runner put another runner down. Friendly competition or being excited when you pass another runner whose traditionally faster than you is entirely normal but that doesn't mean you turn around and stick your tongue out at them, instead you pass them and tell them how great they're doing and that they're almost at the end and to keep it up. John Stanton tweeted this today "as a runner you really succeed when you encourage others to succeed and enjoy our great sport!"...if everyone lived by this everyone would be so much happier. 

So if anyone feel like challenging me on being a "fat ass", I would love to spend some time running with you and see how quickly your mind changes. 

Post Wedding Exhaustion

This week has been a blur of amazing things happening.

Let's start with the Scotiabank Marathon. My champions page is up and my fundraising page is up! I would really love it if my friends and family could donate to me and support my run :)

You can find the West Neighbourhood House Champions page here

http://www.torontowaterfrontmarathon.com/en/nc/nc3.htm#charity

From there you can click to my page to donate :) A donation of $10 will mean a charitable tax receipt for you! I'm really excited to be running this race and I'm really looking forward to it.

The second part of this is that two of my oldest and best friends got married on the weekend! I want to say a huge congratulations to Linda and Justin on a lifetime of love and happiness. I was so honoured Linda asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.

In terms of running this totally affected my training over the last couple of weeks...and it's been worth ALL of it. I've missed runs because of her bachelorette party (shout out to the #butternuts) and rehearsal dinner and have zero regrets about any of it. I knew that I didn't want to miss my Sunday long run or 14km...the Sunday after their wedding. So I made a conscience choice to watch how much I drank and left at a semi-reasonable hour and I did my run.

Today's run was stupid crazy. The weather was wonderful (unlike last Sunday when I thought I was going to die from heat) the distance was insane. We were told we were going to run 14km and I figured it  would be 14.5km or something like that...instead it turned out to be 15.89km...and I wish I was joking. The run was luckily beautiful. We ran through a butterfly garden and by the waterfront. We stopped for a group photo...here's one them...check out the view! It was gorgeous!

The exhaustion I'm feeling as I write this is unreal. In the last 3 days I've gotten a total of 12.45 hours of sleep...that's broken down into 4.45 hours on Friday, 6 hours on Saturday night and a 2 hour nap on Sunday. I'm exhausted. My nap wasn't long enough but I had to wake up otherwise there won't be any sleep happening tonight.

Now that I'm home, showered, napped, etc. I'm nursing a headache, aching muscles and sore feet. I also discovered my first real chaffing experience...under my bra strap. As a girl who needs to wear a bra in life...like I have ZERO option in the matter...the chaffing is highly uncomfortable and I'm not sure how to get rid of it or how to protect it. Anyone have any tips?

Lastly, I want to thank my buddy Warren who was also in the wedding yesterday. At the end of the night he was sharing some reasons who people were awesome. I'm so glad that 1) he didn't tell me I'm an inspiration since he's been running for longer than me and 2) that he actually reads these (HI Warren!!!). He also was so genuine in saying he's proud of me. Although I don't see Warren often he's an awesome guy and I'm lucky to have the woman as a friend.

Alright ya'll...keep running, keep strong, keep hydrated and have fun!

It's been a little while...

It's been a little while since my last post, and quite a bit has happened...I'm simply going to make a list and go from there...

1) I got another pair of shoes!

I tried on these shoes a long time ago and fell in love with them. Why I didn't buy them earlier is beyond me. Anyways, I purchased the Brooks Glycerin 13's, with multiple coupons. These shoes are like running on cushions to me. They have so much support, so much structure and are a nice bright colour...apparently running shoes only come in shades of bright these days. I wore them while at the cottage to do all of my training and they were amazing. They held up well on the dirt, gravel, puddles and grass and go me through 20km's of running.

2) I watched the men's and women's Pan Am marathon and was very motivated by them

In terms of Pan Am, the marathon was all that I was invested in. I don't play sports and don't consider myself to be athletic but running is what I love. I watched the women's marathon bright and early with my good buddy Angie (we basically do everything together). We trekked it down to the lakeshore at 6:30am to see women run back and forth in the nastiest humidity. It was so empowering to watch all of these women take on the same roads I'm running, the same hills I train on and beat world records. I has a goal of running a half marathon in 2 hours and 20 minutes...they run entire marathon's in that time! It's insane! Watching their form and see how they push through was truly empowering. Watching the men's marathon was just fun. A few girls from the running room and I all met up, watched the men running, went on a run ourselves and then had a delicious brunch. That was so special because of the bonding we were able to do. That showed me how much of a community the running world is. You show up and support everyone because we all know how their legs are feeling and how hard those runs are.

3) I got injured (yuck)

Yes folks, you read that correctly- I got injured. Now normally I can suck it up and go on with my life but I make an effort to take care of myself, to not over do it, to eat well, get enough sleep (as all my friends can attest to- I will leave just about anything early to go to sleep). I have no idea what I did or how I did it but something on the right side of my ankle started hurting and the pain just got worse and worse. I ended up taking a few days off of everything- I stopped walking a lot, I stopped running, I didn't work out (things were boring, let me tell you). I also got acupuncture for the first time. I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who has an injury. The sensation of it was so calming and relaxing but also so healing. I could literally feel the injured part heating up as the blood was going to it. Anyways- the point is that acupuncture and rest work miracles and being injured sucks! 

4) I made running friends!

Like actual running friends- we text and everything. It's seriously makes going on training runs so much better! I missed training a couple weeks back but I got a text from the girls wondering where I was and saying they missed me! The friendships make such a difference. 

5) I've "inspired" people to run

This one I have a hard time wrapping my head around. I have encouraged friends to start running...it's a weird thing because I'm still not sure who encouraged me to run, but oh well! The more the merrier! 

6) I did all of my training on my own- and was very successful at it...

So last week I went away for the long weekend to my cottage and wasn't sure how my training would go, but I managed to do all of my training on my own...and I was very successful! Mind you, I went back to the cottage this weekend for my girls bachelorette and did zero running, ate like a beast and drank like a tank...so who knows what kind of fun this week holds! 

7) The weight loss competition! 

So I won...we assumed! But Angie really won because she got a trainer and is going to kick ass! 

8) HILLS HILLS HILLS!!! 

We started hill training last week and what fresh hell! Whoever came up with hill repeats like torturing people but also wants to build strength. The tension and stress on my calves were intense but damn did it feel good to make it up the hills 3 times! 

Training fumbles

This weeks training has been...interesting to say the least.

I want to start by putting this onto the Internet so she can't get out of this. My friend Angie and I have entered a competition against each other- a weight loss competition. We have decided that whoever loses 5 pounds by July 29th wins! If I win Angie will be making me lunch for a week and take me out for a pedicure! If she wins I will clean her room (which is really just fun for me if we're being honest) and I take her for a pedicure. So bring it on Angie! (And yes, I will let you all know who won!). I went so far as purchasing a fitness tracker, the Jaw Bone UP Move. It's so simple to use, tracks my steps and syncs up with My Fitness Pal, which I'm using to track my food. I will let you know if I have any issues with it, but so far I do recommend it to anyone looking for a fitness tracker!  

So this week has been interesting. I've changed trainers at the gym for a little bit and Monday was a treat. My legs were shaking like never before- but amazingly I wasn't sore. That lactic acid is doing well. No sore muscles= more working out. 

Wednesday I went on a tempo run with the running room. Which, for some reason, I was unbelievably excited about. So off I went- I took off, much faster than my group, and felt great. Until I got lost. I wish I was joking. I was so disoriented on the streets around high park. I've read so many posts about running that says "it's ok to get lost running- you get to learn new neighbourhood!"...as someone who got lost, it's really just embarrassing. Like really embarrassing. Luckily I found a group behind me and they were so sweet and guided me home- couldn't find my group after but oh well! 

Thursday's training was an interesting one. We ran a route my coaches call "the tough love route"...and tough love is probably the ONLY way to describe it! My quads are so sore from Wednesday's run, so the run was even more difficult. The lactic acid is real- and it's intense. We also had our discussion on Thursday, where the coaches impart so much wisdom on us! We talked running shoes and basically what I took from it is I need another pair- which, sounds worse than it is. So I bought another pair of very light New Balance shoes and hoping they will make hill training and tempo runs a little bit easier! Check them out below! I'm still looking at getting another pair of runners because, well, why not?! Brooks Glycerine 13- I'm coming for you!!!!!

While running those silly hills on tough love I was reminded of THIS saying! One day, I will be able to talk while running those damn hills- One. Damn. Day. 

My Sunday morning run was a real treat. Saturday night was my friend's mini Bachelorette party. We went out for a wonderful, butter filled French dinner for Summerlicious (Biff's Bistro- was delicious but so not diet friendly) and then for drinks at a pub. I knew I had to watch what I was drinking and how much I was drinking because of my Sunday morning run. Other than getting home late and wearing shoes that gave me blood blisters, I was totally fine for running (luckily for me). The night was a good time and we're getting ready for her Bachelorette part 2 in August! 

The mental game

This week has been a game of mental sorts. 

You know that feeling when everything around you is really heavy and feels like a tone of bricks on your head? That's how I felt at work- everything was coming down on me. Many things had nothing to do with work, but it all came crashing down. 

So, before I go any further I need to thank 3 people who were there to help me through in the tough moments- Kristen, Angie and Tracy, you 3 made the difference through all of it. Just listening to me rant about whatever I was feeling made me feel so much better. Thank you. 

The other part that got me through was thinking about my runs- specially my Thursday night run. I knew it was a steady 4k run and I was fully capable of that- easily. It was a part of the day I was looking forward to. I could fully remove myself from the stress of everything else. My Thursday afternoon luckily turned around with a bit of booster juice and a nice walk through liberty village (there may have been a few tears shed as well). 

My day ended, I got changed for my run and off I went! I felt this sense of belonging the moment I walked into the running room. I don't really know why since I've only been to the high park store a hand full of times. There's something about being around other runners that brings a sense of calm to me. We proceeded with the regular chat and got into the run. These people know nothing about me or what happened during my day. It makes it easy to put it aside. 

When I started running, I was pretty pumped for my first real run through High Park. And the idea of a steady run made me even more excited. All I wanted was to move my legs and put all the stress of the day onto them and have it push me forward. I didn't wear my watch or worry about tracking- I just wanted to run off the days worries. 

What I realized during that run is that running takes my mind off of everything else happening. For that short time I'm running, I'm disconnected from the world, I'm focusing entirely on moving my legs and body forward and not thinking about anything else. I was totally removed from everything bothering me all day and just ran. I also ran mostly on my own, which I normally do, but was strange since I was in a group. It was also exactly what I needed in that moment. I was disconnected from technology and the world around me. I pushed myself up and over hills and just kept going. 

At the end of it all, I also realized it was time to move to a faster pace group! Yikes!!! This is both a positive and negative in my books. I'm getting faster which is awesome, but I'm getting faster which is terrifying. Either way, now I'm training to run a half marathon in 2 hours and 20 minutes...which would be a total miracle considering my 15k time! 

As a side note and somewhat unrelated, I came across this photo today and realized it's basically my life these days! I've realized I don't particularly have time to date these days and I'm committing to my training. My Wednesday's, Thursday's and Sunday mornings are totally gone and not one bit of me is disaappointed. Yes it means my summer is a bit less fun, with less alcohol and maybe a bit less time spent with friends but on October 18th when I've got a half marathon medal around my neck I really won't remember that. I'm sure all I'll be thinking about is what the next half marathon is I want to run...so gentleman take note, wanna date me? I hope you like running half marathons! 😉

The Training Has Begun!

Well, tonight was the big night! The training for the Scotiabank Half Marathon has begun! Which is quite funny because I was also officially registered today. I guess this means I have to do it now...

I've started training with the High Park Running Room, which is great but terrifying. Have you seen the hills in High Park?! Also the number of people who run from High Park is insane- 60 people in the half marathon clinic! I didn't even know 60 people ran. Seriously. 

So we've been divided into our pace groups and obviously I picked the slowest group. Which I found out is also the most fun. The coach brought a water gun to the last half marathon and sprayed people in the last 1k to make them run faster- so perfect. My kind of people. 

What I've realized since the Nike run and now is three things:

1) I need some major motivation with quotes and things. So far I've bought a phone case, a necklace with distances and in considering getting a running tattoo.

2) I seriously miss running when I don't do it. And I don't need to train for things but I need to run. It's interesting how quickly it becomes a part of your life. 

3) I only run to get a medal in the end. Seriously. There is little point to me otherwise! 

Remember how I said I had to bribe myself to finish the 15k with new shoes? Well here they are! They went out for their first 3.5k tonight. They are much lighter than my other shoes and definitely have more cushion. 

A little reminder that if I believe it, I can do it. I've proven that to myself already- why would this be any different? 

A rainy 15k run

On Sunday June 14th, I completed the Nike Women's 15k. 

This run was a pretty big deal. Nike made a huge deal out of it, there was so much hype around it, they were giving out Tiffany's necklaces as the medal...it was really well prepared and put together. It was also the first in Toronto, which made it that much more exciting. So, besides this run being a big deal for the running community it was a big deal for me personally. This was the longest distance I've ever run and a big stepping stone into the half marathon world. It was my introduction into running with water and electrolytes, my first time running with gummies and my first exciting course run!

Typically the night before a run I don't sleep, like at all. I get too nervous and excited and I can't sleep. I'm not sure why, but I was able to sleep a bit more the night before this race. Either I'm getting used to racing or I was just really tired. So I woke up with a bit more energy, grabbed a bagel at Tim Horton's and off I went with my buddy Angie Gardiner (aka. My officially running groupie). 

My race morning didn't go off perfectly as planned- I lost my wave number which put me back 2 waves...which in retrospect was probably a blessing in disguise. Basically this meant we got to the island WAY earlier than necessary and hung out and waited for hours. Needless to say, I found my wave 5 bracelet at the end of the day stuck to my shoe.

Now, I want to say I went out raring, quickly and ready for it but I really wasn't sure what to expect. The route was overly crowded- extremely crowded (10,000 people is a lot on a small island). There was no break in runners until about the 6k mark...so just after the airport- which easily was the highlight of the entire race. Running next to landing air planes, on the Tarmac of an airport I use in the greatest city was an experience like no other. And the view was breathtaking (see below for a picture I got while running!)

So the actual run- I was really impressed with myself. I managed to run about 11k without stopping. Do you all know what means?! My wall has been pushed back! So, at the 11k mark I hate to say this but I almost gave up. I had enough and was bribing myself to keep running. I literally promised myself new running shoes if I finished the race- running shoes I was going to buy anyways! (I bought them...)


Here's the I need to pick a bone...Mother Nature. What was the reason for the rain? Did you really want to test everyone's strength and endurance? Well you did- and I'm pretty sure we showed you what to do with the shitty weather you gave us. People were telling me all about how great it is to train in this weather- which I believe- except it sucked. Being cold, wet, soggy and moist (you're welcome Stephen) was easily the worst part of the entire day.

Ok, back to the race. Once I realized I was back where I started on the course I quite literally gunned it. I'm not sure where the strength or energy came from but I saw the finish line sign and I have never run so fast. Knowing the end was right there was the last push I needed. So I crossed that finish line- basically crying, screaming and ready for water. I got through all the lines, smushed my apple on the ground (by accident and I was about miserable it too) and off I went in search of my Tiffany's necklace and my groupie! 

Needless to say- it took roughly 2 hours to get off the island. Which was not the best ending to the race, but all I could think about was food, warmth and a shower. 

I need to give credit where credit to a big group of people... 

1) To the pace bunny who saw me walking, tapped me on the shoulder and said "come on, you're almost there! Keep it up!" Thank you- that push was perfect. 

2) To the Nike staff handing out high fives like candy- that single high five pushed me another kilometer! 

3) To the island residents at the 13k mark who reminded me I was almost there- you are truly amazing 

4) To the 14k sign blowing in the wind and rain- thank you for showing me how close the end was 

5) To my most special friend and running groupie Angie Gardiner- knowing your face was at the end was the last push. And then seeing your face made me book it so I knew I was done! 

6) To my amazing friends and family sending me Facebook messages and texts the entire race- although I didn't read them while running (for obvious reasons I hope), the ding of my phone told me you were thinking of me and pushing me through it. 

Having taken a bit of time to reflect on this race, I want to say I'm proud of myself. I accomplished something I never thought I could accomplish. Who ever thought I would be running 15k races? No one probably. But I'm also disappointed. I wanted that time. Could I have pushed myself a little more- oh definitely. Could I have not walked? Most likely. Could I improve for next time? Absolutely! But what kind of runner would I be if I was solely proud of this accomplishment? How would I learn from it and make myself better for next time? 

And so the journey continues...this is a bit of a break week for me- my half marathon training programs starts up June 25th! I've got new running shoes, new socks and hopefully some refreshed legs!


Check out some photos from the race! 

Way too early- ready to go!

Training buddy!

View of the city from the Billy Bishop Tarmac!

I DID IT!

Finally on the boat, getting off the island...just 2 hours later...

My times

The route!

Nike Women's 15km!

For some crazy reason I decided to register for a 15km race, while in the process of training for a 10km race. I knew I wanted to run the half marathon in October and needed a way to keep pushing myself, so a 15km race seemed like it made the most sense.

Practically speaking it does if I want to build up to a half marathon. Work from a 5km to a 10km to a 15km to a half marathon. Well that would be practical for someone who wasn't lazy and had some kind of discipline (so anyone but me). 

In my training for this 15km run I've experienced quite a few feelings I was unfamiliar with in the past. Like needing to use the washroom mid run, like stopping to buy water because I may collapse otherwise, feeling as though I wanted to vomit mid run (that's by far the scariest and worst), knowing that running with music no longer helps me but running with people does, getting my breathing under control in the first km sets me up for a successful run, I need to eat before running...the list goes on. 

The most important thing I've learned is that, this whole running thing may be hard (that's an understatement) but the accomplishment every Sunday after I've reached a new distance, or I've set a new PR is what make its all worth it. 

My training for this 15km run has been halted by so many things- most of which is my laziness and lack of discipline- but deep down I know I'm going to do it and I'm going to be so proud when I do. I may not reach my goal time, I may not finish strong but I will finish it. 

And the first thing that will happen in reflecting will be the ways I could've run it faster, where I slipped up, why I took a walk break when I easily could've pushed past...

But will that matter when I've got that medal around me neck? Probably not...

Completed my first solo Sunday run! Had to get a picture of my shocked and proud face! 13 lonely, solid, completed kilometres! 

The 15k is this Sunday June 14th! Wish me luck!!!!

These are my confessions...

Before we really get into this, there are a few things you should all know...

1) I am easily the laziest and least disciplined runner I can possibly be. I almost called this blog "the lazy runner". I will cut every corner I can, I will slow down to get a break at lights just because, I will "skip" a run because of stupid reasons...I am absolutely the laziest runner I could be.

2) I hate the lead up to running. It's the worst. The idea of having to pull on tight pants and a tight shirt and a bra that supposedly holds the girls in tight, and tie running shoes and pack my little pouch thing...it's dreadful. Typing it out is making me hate it even more. If someone did all of this for me, I would enjoy running so much more.

3) I hate the physical process of running. It's so tedious and my body is like "what are you doing to me and for what reason?". But I equally love it. When I haven't done it for a while my body is like "Why haven't you put your feet in front of the other quickly in such a long time?"

4) I have total runners envy. I'm jealous of everyone who can run faster than me (and I really don't run fast at all). I'm jealous of how other runners look compared to me. If I'm not running I'm jealous of whoever I see running. If I am running I'm jealous of a runner going faster than me, or of someone running with someone. If there's a reason to be jealous of a runner- I feel it.

5) The only real satisfaction I get from running is the end of it. When I look at my route map, or have that medal around my neck is the only reason I run.

6) I'm encouraged to run by constantly having new running things. I will literally buy anything that has to do with running because it keeps me motivated. If anyone has any recommendations for a new purchase I'm all ears.

7) I am not a morning runner, but for the rest of my life I will attempt to be. The idea of waking up earlier than I need to makes me more tired.

8) I hate hill training, speed training and long runs. The idea of running being even harder than it needs to be is dreadful. Utterly dreadful.

9) I'm the absolute WORST for stretching (consider this warning for many complaints ahead). But I am going to use this as a commitment to stretch more. But, my foam roller and weird wiggly ball thing and spiky red tennis ball will always be my best friends after a run.

10) The friends I've made, although a tiny group, are a major support system and a major source of encouragement for me. I'm excited to make more friends at the High Park running room. 

11) I love running quotes. I have an entire pinterest board dedicated to them. They keep me motivated.

12) I need to start this one out by saying that I appreciate everyone, but I can't stand when people tell me I'm an inspiration. I can appreciate the sentiment, but I am the least inspirational runner out there (lazy, remember). I don't feel inspirational, especially when I haven't run in awhile or I'm having weak runs, and especially if I skip a run while training for a big race. That is not inspiring, that is Natalie being lazy. It's also a lot to carry on my already exhausted (from running) legs. I love hearing how proud people are of me but I want us to all to be inspired by each other!

13) I will literally soak up any running knowledge I can, because I know so little about it. I have purchased more books than I can read, have a stack of magazines that just grows each month and I can't get enough. SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH ME!

14) I'm absolutely terrified to run a half marathon. Scared out of my mind for the time commitment, the actual process, that I'm not good enough, that I won't finish it, that I'll get injured. You name it, I'm scared of it. 

15) My running wall is hit at the 7.5km mark. It's the worst feeling to push past that point and takes more mental strength than I ever knew I had. My wall doesn't seem to want to push any further which makes running a real challenge. It also makes running beyond 7.5km a real challenge on my own. 

The start of (half) a journey

I want to apologize before you go any further- I wasn't anticipating such a long journey to a half but I guess a lot happens in a year.

My entire journey to this point started after I lost myself. Physically I was there, but mentally I wasn't me. Without going into great detail, I lost myself in someone else and was on a journey to find myself! I made a decision that it was time to go back to the gym- it was time to take care of Natalie- and for anyone who knows me well, knows that was not one of my strong suits at that point in my life. I decided to start going to the gym and knew I needed a personal trainer, so one day, I walked into the West End YMCA (where I had been a member for a year and had gone maybe twice) and just made the decision to get a trainer. Little did I know that she would change my life (which we wont get started on...).

So, I was hitting a point in my training where I was really sick and tired of cardio. I was really enjoying classes and weight training but cardio was becoming so tedious. I was trying every way I could to cut it short, or making excuses to not do it. I've always thought about running and always envied and admired people who could do it. It was interesting timing too- a girl I would regularly do a class with was talking about weight loss and said she lost 100lbs simply by running- on the treadmill no less. So that was my encouragement to start. I wanted to lose weight (not 100lbs but who wouldn't be encouraged by something like that!).

I started talking to my trainer about it- I had no idea where to begin. Luckily she had attempted to run once in her life (she admits it- she HATES running) and shared her learn to run program with me. I decided to give it a shot on the treadmill and followed the plan she gave me almost perfectly. No reason to get injured when I don't even know what I'm doing. So, I went out and bought my first pair of real running shoes that I was using to train and race in...and I trained for that 5k, let me tell you.

I ran what they call 'Fun Runs'- Color Me Rad, almost exactly 1 year ago to this day and was immediately hooked on racing. I ran and volunteers threw coloured corn starch at me while I wore a tutu running away from them. As I type this I realize how ridiculous it all sounds, but it changed my life. I have no idea what my time was on that race- all I know is that I ran the entire thing without stopping, I had "RAD" tattooed in sunburn on my arm (I was in a wedding a few weeks later, so this became a new challenge) and I felt amazing at the end of the run...and I wanted to do it again, but for time. I did some major research about running more seriously at that point (very much in secret) and discovered a lot of things- the biggest of which was that my shoes sucked for the type of running I was doing, and were far too small if I wanted to keep my toe nails forever.

I almost immediately started to consider what I would do next. Another 5km obviously, because seriously, I could never run anything more than a 5km. So I registered for the Scotiabank 5km run through work. It was the perfect set up- I knew I could run 5km, I could raise money for work and I had coworkers with me who wanted to do the same thing, plus I figured if my time was terrible I could disguise it with my fundraising efforts. So I did it- and I was pretty happy with my accomplishment at the end of it. I ran the entire race dressed as a sharpie, my coworker as a piece of paper- we won nothing except the smiles of our cheering stage. I finished the race, and went back to the finish line to watch the guy I was dating at the time cross the marathon finish line. Standing there waiting for him, seeing smiling faces cross the finish line made me want more for myself.

So this guy I was seeing- the relationship didn't last long but what has lasted is the push he gave me to keep running. He was the first person I ran more than 5km with, and it was his encouragement that pushed me to keep going. So I made the decision to run a 10km- but I had no idea how I would do it. The only thing I knew was that the running room was where I needed to go and I did.

I quickly registered for a 10km training program. I ran with the Liberty Village running room and trained for the Yonge Street 10km. I had no idea what kind of time commitment it would take, and it definitely was a time commitment. I also discovered the dreaded hill training, speed training and my least favourite of all, the long Sunday morning run. I also discovered friendships, life changing experiences, running quotes, knowledge about winter running (thank you to everyone who shovels and salts their sidewalks) and a drive to push through. I set a goal of completing the 10km in less than an hour and 10 minutes. I completed it in far less than that, but there were many glitches along the way (which I now attribute to it increasing my time)- vacations, illnesses, dehydration, another break up...but I did it in 1 hour and 4 minutes and 20 seconds. So what else did I do in the middle of this training...well of course I registered for a 15km race (it's coming up soon! We'll talk about it later).

So, this (extremely long- probably unnecessarily) post brings us to today and the reason I've decided to start this blog. I have decided to run a half marathon. And part of me is saying, why are you blogging about this? People run half marathons everyday- people run MARATHON'S everyday...there are monks who run 2 marathons a day over a 10 day period (the things I have learned over this journey)...but, the the other part of me is saying that the people who I beg for money will want to hear about my journey to get to this point. Hell- I want a record of this journey, to remind myself that I did it.

Over the next few weeks my fundraising page will go up and you will see my shining face featured as one of the champions (at which point you should hit the button that says "DONATE HERE"). This blog will feature all of my wonderful training highs, lows, hits, misses, jokes and anything else I think you may want to hear about.

So get ready- I hope you're as excited as I am about embarking on this exciting (and terrifying) (half) journey to 21.1km!